Сообщение от Dremlin
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Nowadays, the condition of people's mental health has started - [Мне вот совсем не нравится тут перфект.] - to concern them - [вроде как на people указывает, но все равно как-то конфьзинг. Когда читаешь, хочется спросить кого them?] - in the modern society - [уже ж есть nowadays. Да и звучит как-то странно - "стал волновать в современном мире."] -. Individuals have become - [в русском зачастую стал = начал, в английском это не работает] - to suffer from annoyance, unhappiness and frustration. This essay will put forward the notion that this situation happens because of the definite - [certain] - reasons the negative effects of which can be diminished or avoided.
There is no doubt that stress is caused by the number - [a number = some, the number - число] - of circumstances in the people’s lives. Firstly, lots of them work hard pursuing to - [по-моему нельзя сказать pursue to, только pursue smth] - earn money as much as they can - [as much money as they can?] - and forget about such simple thing as taking the rest - [the rest of what? a rest] -. As a result, a person becomes tired, unsatisfied and demotivated. Secondly, unhealthy lifestyle is the one of the main reasons - [без the] - which could lead to nervousness and depression. For instance, smoking, abusing of alcohol - [alcochol abuse] - and unhealthy diet can result in insomnia and mental disorders. Finally, loneliness causes some psychological issues which impact individuals negatively - [which negatively impact individuals, плюс запятая перед этим всем, это вроде как non-defining clause] -. This can be proven by the fact that almost all - [я бы это выкинул] - human beings are social creatures and being alone for them is difficult not only physically but psychologically as well.
Nevertheless, the above highlighted problems can be resolved by the following approaches. One solution is taking rest - [a rest?] - during the leisure time when a person - [is?] - out of the office. In other words, an individual should not be overloaded permanently at work but dedicate a reasonable time in order to - [я не уверен что dedicate может быть само по себе. dedicate to/for. dedicate some time to recharging] - recharge their batteries. Another measure to decrease the negative effects of the stress is to follow healthy lifestyle by doing physical exercises, eating - [having] - balanced diet and denying - [avoiding] - drinking alcohol. In addition, encouraging - [engaging in] - the social life by keeping in touch with the close relatives, supporting friendship and making new friends is the integral part of a person's life запятая which helps people to stay mentally stable.
To sum up, indeed, stress is one of the main psychological issues for humans in today’s world which can be successfully defeated by following the measures suggested in this essay. - [это надо как-то переписать. which относится к stress, но стоит далеко от него и конфьюзит ридера. Перед ним надо как минимум запятая, потому что это non-defining clause, а вообще по хорошему я бы разнес это как-то на два предложения]
There is no doubt that stress is caused by the number - [a number = some, the number - число] - of circumstances in the people’s lives. Firstly, lots of them work hard pursuing to - [по-моему нельзя сказать pursue to, только pursue smth] - earn money as much as they can - [as much money as they can?] - and forget about such simple thing as taking the rest - [the rest of what? a rest] -. As a result, a person becomes tired, unsatisfied and demotivated. Secondly, unhealthy lifestyle is the one of the main reasons - [без the] - which could lead to nervousness and depression. For instance, smoking, abusing of alcohol - [alcochol abuse] - and unhealthy diet can result in insomnia and mental disorders. Finally, loneliness causes some psychological issues which impact individuals negatively - [which negatively impact individuals, плюс запятая перед этим всем, это вроде как non-defining clause] -. This can be proven by the fact that almost all - [я бы это выкинул] - human beings are social creatures and being alone for them is difficult not only physically but psychologically as well.
Nevertheless, the above highlighted problems can be resolved by the following approaches. One solution is taking rest - [a rest?] - during the leisure time when a person - [is?] - out of the office. In other words, an individual should not be overloaded permanently at work but dedicate a reasonable time in order to - [я не уверен что dedicate может быть само по себе. dedicate to/for. dedicate some time to recharging] - recharge their batteries. Another measure to decrease the negative effects of the stress is to follow healthy lifestyle by doing physical exercises, eating - [having] - balanced diet and denying - [avoiding] - drinking alcohol. In addition, encouraging - [engaging in] - the social life by keeping in touch with the close relatives, supporting friendship and making new friends is the integral part of a person's life запятая which helps people to stay mentally stable.
To sum up, indeed, stress is one of the main psychological issues for humans in today’s world which can be successfully defeated by following the measures suggested in this essay. - [это надо как-то переписать. which относится к stress, но стоит далеко от него и конфьюзит ридера. Перед ним надо как минимум запятая, потому что это non-defining clause, а вообще по хорошему я бы разнес это как-то на два предложения]
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