My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[silver999]

Do you write your esays in time frame or unlimited?


Какой у Вас языковой бэкграунд, если не секрет?
спасибо[/QUOTE]

I learnt English language at school only.
Eventually, passed upper intermediate exam at English First school 4 years ago. But it wasn`t really hard one. My language experience isn`t exciting at all.

[debugx]

Dear all!

Could you please advise me where to get topics for ielts writing second task.

посмотрите в соседней теме Новые темы writing и speaking (сдавшие поделитесь!)

[debugx]

Mzymta, по структуре не нашел, к чему придраться.
В ведение присутствует тезис, из которого понятно, о чем пойдет речь в эссе.
Параграфы хорошо отвечают на вопрос задания. В заключении также присутствует собственное мнение.

[Mzymta]

Mzymta, по структуре не нашел, к чему придраться.
В ведение присутствует тезис, из которого понятно, о чем пойдет речь в эссе.
Параграфы хорошо отвечают на вопрос задания. В заключении также присутствует собственное мнение.

Спасибо большое

[Mzymta]

The next is Problem solution essay. Am I right? Please check and give your opinion. Thanks alot

Many people argue that exams are the best way to assess people’s competence and that no better system has yet been found. Others say they are unfair, unhelpful and out of date. Do you think the benefits of exams outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, exams are the most popular way for checking students’ knowledge. Some people find this system old-fashioned. Others think that only examinations can reveal mental levels of all pupils. My opinion is presented in this essay.

The main disadvantage is that the majority of people feel stress at the time of preparation and passing exams. As a result, most part of them suffers from high blood pressure and problems with nervous system. Students try to get rid of these feelings and choose different solutions. For instance, some of them start having a sweet tooth and begin to eat more chocolate, others calm down going in for sports. But some personalities give up and prefer to smoke, drink alcoholic beverages or take pills. Anyway, each exam leads to stress and destruction of nervous cells which do not recover.

In my opinion, examinations are not perfect as a system, and it should be changed. I think that diligent and talented students should not take exams. Indeed, why they need them, if they have already proved their knowledge and met deadlines for all tasks? Such students were hard-working and persistent the whole semester. As for me, they do not have to sit exams and feel useless stress on a par with university mates who idled and played truant.

In my opinion, exam system should be corrected, because all people are different. First, examinations may be used as a second attempt for irresponsible students. Second, I think that spoken and oral testing are more effective compared with hand-written, because there is no chance to use any cribs. In conclusion, I guess that some outstanding students should be encouraged, and they do not need to take exams.

[Bozici]

Нет, Катя, это advantages и disadvantages эссе. Поэтому писать нужно по структуре advantages/disadvantages + в конце каждого боди параграфа можно дать свою оценку тому, что ты описала в параграфе. Ну и в заключении перечислишь преимущества и недостатки и дашь свою оценку в общем.

По теме эссе, заметь, нигде не говорится про учеников/студентов, а говорится в общем об оценке компетенции людей. Это же может быть и экзамены в компаниях, на производстве и т.д. Короче, не склоняй тему к экзаменам в школе/институте.

[debugx]

Нет, Катя, это advantages и disadvantages эссе. Поэтому писать нужно по структуре advantages/disadvantages + в конце каждого боди параграфа можно дать свою оценку тому, что ты описала в параграфе. Ну и в заключении перечислишь преимущества и недостатки и дашь свою оценку в общем.

А нет ли у вас под рукой ссылки на описание, какому типу эссу, какая структура должна соответствовать?
По поводу своей оценки в конце каждом параграфа, то это скорее опция, чем обязательное требование. См. Good Paragraph Writing.

Mzymta, вы не написали про benefits экзаменов, в этом, пожалуй, основной косяк эссе.

[Bozici]

debugx, ну так я же и написала "в конце каждого боди параграфа можно дать свою оценку". лично для меня такое эссе читалось бы лучше, чем перечисление плюсов, минусов и в конце оценка.

ссылок на описание у меня нет, я делала себе собственные заготовки. если хотите могу выслать на мэил.

[Tal]

Почитайте, пожалуйста, райтинг кому не влом) Уже скоро сдавать. Меня особенно интересует task response в эссе. Ну и все остальное тоже Задание из Кембриджской книжки по IELTS, только я все распечатки перемешала, поэтому номер ее не могу сказать)

Заранее спасибо!

On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost.

Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter

• describe the item you lost
• explain how you lost it
• tell the insurance company what you would like them to do

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,



Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to make an insurance claim under the terms and conditions of my travel insurance policy (#123456). On the recent holiday in Japan I lost a golden ring with a blue gem due to evacuation from the hotel which was caused by the earthquake.

The cost of the ring, as stated in the insurance agreement, is $900. This was a thin golden ring, with a snake engraved around and a sapphire, which I did not find upon return to the hotel. Contact details of the hotel are attached to this letter as well as other information which you might need to settle this claim. Also, if you are able to find the thing anyhow, I will gratefully take it back.

I kindly ask you to respond on my request within 20 days since you receive it. Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you in advance for your help.

Yours faithfully,
…


Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The age of happiness has been a matter of a debate for centuries. Some people believe that individuals have most opportunities to enjoy their lives at the age of 14 – 19, while others consider being more mature an advantage. I personally feel supportive to the second opinion, and there are several reasons for this, which are presented by comparing both views below.

The main benefits of young years are plenty of aspirations for the future, many options for studying different subjects and minimal level of responsibility. Sociological surveys show that the majority of teenagers devote a significant amount of time to their hobbies, which range from sports to arts and even science. They lose these opportunities later, when they start their own families and have to care for dependants. At the same time, individuals in their teens suffer from lots of complexes, especially related to social recognition and self-identification. Moreover, they feel uncomfortable with their dependency on parents and uncertainty about the future, which altogether suggests that teenagers are unlikely to be the happiest part of the mankind.

Speaking about adult people, it is necessary to acknowledge their financial independency and freedom of life choice. Also, mature people usually have a luggage of achievements, which positively contributes to their sense of self-worth. A simple comparison of personal web profiles of people from different age groups indicates that those 25 – 40 years old have the most optimistic and inspiring attitude to life.

So, with respect to opponents’ opinion that being a teenager is the most joyful personal experience, I believe it is not entirely fair. Advantages of adult age seem to be more convincing, which include, in particular, financial independency and strong self-esteem.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Tal, почитайте для начала:
Letter to Insurance Company Placing a Claim

[Tal]

Tal, почитайте для начала:
Letter to Insurance Company Placing a Claim

Maimiti_Isabella, спасибо! Полезная штука. Я переписала на ее основе свое письмо.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Maimiti_Isabella, спасибо! Полезная штука. Я переписала на ее основе свое письмо.

And where is it?

[Tal]

And where is it?

Сорри Я прямо в исходном сообщении поправила, чтобы не флудить)

[Kajessy]

Через месяц сдаю IELTS. Покритикуйте пож-та

Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents of very young children to stay at home to look after their children.

[B]What do you think would be the advantages and disadvantages of this

Какие же вообще тут могут быть disadvantages?

[Bozici]

Kajessy, а вы посмотрите на ситуацию не со своей стороны (как родителя), а в общем. можно сказать, что увеличится нагрузка на налогоплательщиков, чему они не будут довольны.