My essay, проверьте, покритикуйте! Спасибо!

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Нет, конечно, я понимаю, что нет одного общего списка)
Но хотелось бы просто найти где-нибудь, например, 150 тем для эссе с заданиями и т.д. Чтобы прям каждый день брать по теме и малевать эссе))
А то сейчас я нахожу то тему в одном учебнике, то на форуме в какой-то теме, то в интернете на одном сайте, на другом и т.д. Как-то не упорядоченно все))
Или я зажралась?)

И все-таки, не поняла, есть разница между темами ко второму заданию академика и дженерала?

И, кстати, тем для писем (task 1) я вообще не могу найти в интернете... нашла на разных сайтах штук 10, и все.

IELTS - International English Language Testing System| Home - начните там. Думаю, что вам недели на 2 работы хватит

[Bionika]

IELTS - International English Language Testing System| Home - начните там. Думаю, что вам недели на 2 работы хватит

я там уже темы взяла

[Vanderley]

вот тут есть 23 эссе с достойными формулировками

[Bionika]

вот тут есть 23 эссе с достойными формулировками

спасибо огромное!

[Kyska]

Добрый день, уже как-то сдавал IELTS, но пока получал аккредитацию и сдавал экзамены его срок незаметно истек. Покритикуйте, пожалуйста. Брал тему как один из предыдущих писателей, про увеличивающееся число ожиревших детей в развитых странах - кто виноват родители или фаст фуд?

The growing number of outweight children is the alarming trend, but it is not clear whether it is happening because of increasing number of fast food restaurants or just because of improper care provided by parents. In this essay I will explore both of these theories and express my own opinion.

On the one hand, fast food restaurants rapidly spreading worldwide, especially in developed countries. For example, one of the leading fast food chains in the world is McDonalds which has restaurants in more than 50 countries and where the average order contains about 1000 calories. While McDonalds and other restaurants with the same concept constantly enlarging their network traditional restaurants are struggling to survive. For this reason it is clear that fast food with huge portions became the part of modern lifestyle contributing to overweight and health problems.

On the other hand, parents usually don't have much time to take care about their children. For instance, it is the accepted practice when both mother and father have full-day job, while in the past women usually stayed at home and could dedicate more time for cooking for their family. Nowadays, teenagers are usually eat whatever they like making their choice in favor of 'junk food' - potatoe chips, chocolate bars, french fries, soda and pop-corn. Therefore, it is obvious that parents bear responsibility for the state of health of their children.

Considering everything mentioned above it is clearly seen that both expansion of fast food and lack of attention have negative effects on health of young generation. In my point of view , the main responsibility is still lies on parents as they are in charge for their children. It will be great if parent will spend more time on their kids providing them with both care and proper nutrition.

Спасибо, кто осилил)

I'm bored so this is my take:

The growing number of oVERweight children is AN alarming trend, but it is not clear whether THE MAIN CONTRIBUTING FACTOR IS AN increasing number of fast food restaurants, or improper SUPERVISION provided by parents. In this essay, I will explore both of these theories and express my own opinion.

According to Harvard School of Public Health Obesity Prevention Source Web site, fast food restaurants ARE rapidly spreading worldwide, especially in developING countries. For example, one of the leading fast food chains in the world is McDonalds, which has restaurants in more than 50 countries; and where the typical Big Mac Meal contains about 1320 calories or 73% of the recommended daily intake for teenagers. WHILE McDonalds and other fast food restaurants ARE constantly enlarging their network, traditional restaurants are struggling to survive. For this reason it is clear that fast, DEHYDRATED AND SUGARY food with huge portions HAS becOme A part of THE modern lifestyle, AND IS contributing to OBESITY and ASSOCIATED health problems (LIST PROBLEMS: HEART DISEASE, DIABETES, HYPERTENSION etc).

IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT MANY parents STRUGGLE to take care OF their children's NUTRITIONAL NEEDS ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS. IN ORDER TO MANAGE THE RISING COSTS OF LIVING, MORE AND MORE PARENTS ARE WORKING LONGER HOURS, AND BECOMING TIME POOR. UNFORTUNATELY, MEALS ARE AN EASY AND ATTRACTIVE COMPROMISE. ACCORDING TO RESEARCHER ...., CHILDREN, WHEN LEFT TO DECIDE BETWEEN HEALTHY CHOICES OF FRUIT OR VEG OR A SUGARY, FATTY JUNK FOOD SNACK WOULD INVARIABLY CHOOSE THE LATTER. A 2012 REPORT COMMISSIONED BY AUSTRALIAN PINEAPPLES FOUND THAT ALTHOUGH 60% OF AUSTRALIAN PARENTS WISH THEIR KIDS ATE MORE FRUIT, ONLY 46% OF PARENTS PROVIDED FRUIT TO THEIR CHILDREN DAILY. Therefore, it is obvious that parents MUST TAKE responsibility AND PROACTIVE ACTION TO IMPROVE THE health of their children.

Considering everything mentioned above it is CLEAR that both expansion of fast food OUTLETS and A lack of a parent's attention have A negative effect on THE health of THE young generation. In my point of view, the main responsibility REMAINS WITH THE parents, BECAUSE they ARE THE MAIN INFLUENCE ON their children. It wOULD be great if parentS wOULD spend more time WITH their kids: providing them with care and proper nutrition.

[Vanderley]

Вот это здорово!

[Bionika]

А здесь письмо можно на проверку сдать?) Или только эссе?

Я решила начать с писем, все-таки полегче)
Пожалуйста, скажите, хотя бы примерно на какой балл это претендует?

Your car insurance company has told you that they are going to increase the amount you have to pay in insurance for your car each month. You are not happy about this.
Write a letter to your insurance company. In your letter explain
1. Why you are writing to them
2. Why you think the insurance should not be increased
3. What you want them to do




Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your new rates. I was recently informed that you were going to increase my monthly payments and remake a contract with me.

Due to the fact that I am your loyal customer, who has been using your services for almost six years and has never delayed any payment, I expect you to reconsider your intentions towards me. As far as you might know there are plenty of car insurance companies on the market today and I can effortlessly find cheaper services without the lack of quality. At the same time I would like to point out that I would prefer to remain your client in the future regarding our successful business that we have already done and my faithful attitude to your company.

I hope that you will look into this situation precisely and will soon provide me with your latest decision on this case.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours sincerely,

[fatdh]

Dear Sir / Madam,

Yours sincerely,

Я далек от дачи советов, т.к. сам только учусь, но могу со 100% уверенностью сказать, что если имя не известно (Dear Sir or Madam), то нужно использовать: Yours faithfully

Dear Sir / Madam,

Господа/Дамы знатоки, подскажите пожалуйста, как лучше вступление делать в формальном письме, с неизвестным именем?
Dear Sir/Madam, - т.е. через слэш
Dear Sir or Madam, - т.е. через or
Или же Dear Sir,
Dear Madam,
т.е. по отдельности?
В индийских письмах везде начинают с Dear Sir, но я вот думаю, не обидно ли дамам?

И еще момент, допустим задача такая, что нужно написать другу друга в нефольмальной манере, имя которого я не знаю. В конце будет ставиться "Best Regards, " или же "Yours faithfully" ?

[Maimiti_Isabella]

Господа/Дамы знатоки, подскажите пожалуйста, как лучше вступление делать в формальном письме, с неизвестным именем?
Dear Sir/Madam, - т.е. через слэш
Dear Sir or Madam, - т.е. через or
Или же Dear Sir,
Dear Madam,
т.е. по отдельности?
В индийских письмах везде начинают с Dear Sir, но я вот думаю, не обидно ли дамам?

http://www.ielts.org/pdf/115029_Gene...k_-_Task_1.pdf

[Bionika]

Я далек от дачи советов, т.к. сам только учусь, но могу со 100% уверенностью сказать, что если имя не известно (Dear Sir or Madam), то нужно использовать: Yours faithfully

спасибо большое! не знала таких тонкостей

[Maimiti_Isabella]

BTW,
Dear Sir / Madam
is also OK.

[Maimiti_Isabella]

спасибо большое! не знала таких тонкостей

IELTS Letter Writing Tips - 10 Ways to Get Higher Marks on the IELTS Letter Writing Task | Good Luck IELTS (but this is not the only correct ones)

[Maimiti_Isabella]

А здесь письмо можно на проверку сдать?) Или только эссе?

Я решила начать с писем, все-таки полегче)
Пожалуйста, скажите, хотя бы примерно на какой балл это претендует?

Your car insurance company has told you that they are going to increase the amount you have to pay in insurance for your car each month. You are not happy about this.
Write a letter to your insurance company. In your letter explain
1. Why you are writing to them
2. Why you think the insurance should not be increased
3. What you want them to do




Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your new rates. I was recently informed that you were going to increase my monthly payments and remake a contract with me.

Due to the fact that I am your loyal customer, who has been using your services for almost six years and has never delayed any payment, I expect you to reconsider your intentions towards me. As far as you might know there are plenty of car insurance companies on the market today and I can effortlessly find cheaper services without the lack of quality. At the same time I would like to point out that I would prefer to remain your client in the future regarding our successful business that we have already done and my faithful attitude to your company.

I hope that you will look into this situation precisely and will soon provide me with your latest decision on this case.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours sincerely,

Ваш главная проблема совсем не английский, а образ мышления. Так письма не пишутся, т.е. пишутся, но не в англоязычных странах. Грубо, нагло, с угрозами - зачем? Ощущение такое, что это перевод с русского. Короче, вас 'не поймут'.

Почитайте примеры писем на английском и начните сначала - мой совет.

[Bionika]

Ваш главная проблема совсем не английский, а образ мышления. Так письма не пишутся, т.е. пишутся, но не в англоязычных странах. Грубо, нагло, с угрозами - зачем? Ощущение такое, что это перевод с русского. Короче, вас 'не поймут'.

Почитайте примеры писем на английском и начните сначала - мой совет.

Спасибо за критику, я согласна, что это предложение было чересчур, однако, мне кажется, не стоило сразу вешать на меня ярлык "проблемы с образом мышления".

Переделала.


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my concern about your new rates. I was recently informed that you were going to increase my monthly payments and remake a contract with me.

Due to the fact that I am your loyal customer, who has been using your services for almost six years and has never delayed any payment, I believe that you could reconsider your intentions towards me. I would like to point out that I would prefer to remain your client in the future regarding our successful business that we have already done and my faithful attitude to your company. I sincerely regret having to write that if you are unable to satisfy my request I will have no other option but to terminate our agreement.

I hope that you will look into this situation precisely and will soon provide me with your latest decision on this case.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours faithfully,

[Kyska]

Ваш главная проблема совсем не английский, а образ мышления. Так письма не пишутся, т.е. пишутся, но не в англоязычных странах. Грубо, нагло, с угрозами - зачем? Ощущение такое, что это перевод с русского. Короче, вас 'не поймут'.

Почитайте примеры писем на английском и начните сначала - мой совет.

Только австралийский динозавр будет писать письма вроде этого. Вот как это делается:

Gday all you Tossers,

You have been ripping me Sheila and I off for years, all the while you have been about as handy as shit on a stick. You are worse than that ranga bird Gillard: got a few roos loose in the top paddock, eh? Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining.

The bloke down at the RSL is carrying on like a pork chop trying to sign me over to this other insurance lot. Why don't you give me a better deal or get stuffed? Got ya by the short and curlies now, haven't I?

Ooroo!

Your Mate Digger